Fully Whole, Fully Alive
Its all about perspective!
Thank you Christopher for this opportunity to share how I came to be feeling fully whole and fully alive.
It wasnt always this way for me though, and I struggled and grappled with life as if I was taking four steps backwards and one forward. I know now that really I was living two lives, or wearing two different masks, one public and one internal. One displayed a woman as outgoing, goal achieving, in-control and "had it all", the other or hidden half (known only to me) was shrouded in low self esteem, regular shame and guilt ridden self-dialogue and a constant feeling of living under the wrath of God, only partly happy and content.
I no longer live that way.
How I got to where I am now has been a journey and discovery of who I really, truly am, and amongst many learnings, meditation has proved the most notable shift in my congruence and happiness.
I have been practicing for about a year now, and for me I have found my truths through mindfullness and non-religious mediations that uncover the gifts that were always there inside of me, abundant gifts just waiting to be uncovered!
These gifts include living and feeling fully human, free, connected and not separate from anything or anyone, fully whole and fully alive, happy in or out of the
moment, accepting of my past and openminded and non-fearful about the future. I can feel and give love freely without conditions.
A complete feeling so much bigger and brighter and more amazing than anything outside of myself (money, people, jobs etc) could ever give me.
I have these "experiences" which I have named "happygasms" whereby I am overwhelmed and brought to tears with ecstatic completeness, they are not something I can fully describe here or in words, but my boyfriend loves it when I randomly experience one! Wow...they are something else!
I believe everybody can find this permanent sensation of wellbeing that I have, afterall, I am not special and different.
On my journey I have learnt that you have to give it away to keep it, and I have recently started to write meditations and somehow I hope to record them, to share with others. In the very near future I will be facilitating a meditation afternoon with older folk, I just know that with all their wisdom, if they dig deep, they can recall and experience all those joyfull feelings all over again (like kids on Xmas eve)
So this is now my mission...to offer my experience of mediation so that everyone experiences their own wholeness, the way I believe being alive is supposed to be.
Meditation changed my life, FACT.
Thanks for listening,